Welp...herpes.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
