There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
