There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
