listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
