I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
