Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
