He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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