I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
