I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
