you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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