I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
