He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
