you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
the day after is always just damage control
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
