trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
