Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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