so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
