Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
