Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
