didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
