Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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