We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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