there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Randomize
