Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
you're hired as official boob wrangler
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
