We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
