dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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