I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
