I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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