Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
