Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
