Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
