I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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