I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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