apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
