Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
