Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
