so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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