ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
