Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
