Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
