So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
