Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize
