He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
