the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize