no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
