i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
