What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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