This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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