She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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