Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
