They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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