on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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