I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
