ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
