I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
She announced her abortion via fbk
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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